


Will We Forever Only Be Pretending?

by Saraflo



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Acceptance, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Carlos Reyes, Team as Family, Worried TK Strand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29547099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraflo/pseuds/Saraflo
Summary: When Carlos is hurt on the job, TK isn't able to be there for him because of the promise he made that Carlos doesn't need to tell his parents about their relationship until he's ready. Kept apart from his boyfriend, how long will he be able to keep up the charade?*coda to 2x04*
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 26
Kudos: 436





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while! 
> 
> Loving this season, but I think it could use a bit more Carlos (maybe I'm biased) and a bit more whump (of course). 
> 
> Episode four was amazing and heartbreaking. I'm sure we'll see more of Carlos' parents down the line, and I hope eventually they can meet TK for real. Here's my take on how that can go. Enjoy!

TK pushed the door open so hard he was afraid the glass would shatter as he ran into the hospital, the rest of his team hot on heels. He spotted Tommy and Nancy immediately and took off towards them. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked in a panic as he approached. He felt his father put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. That usually did wonders for TK’s nerves, but not at that moment. 

Not after Tommy had called them saying Carlos was hurt on the job and was being rushed to the hospital.

Not when the life of the man he loved with all his heart and then some was at risk. 

Tommy sighed deeply. “From what I was able to piece together so far, it sounds like Officer Reyes was shot while chasing down a suspect with his partner,” she replied. “The guy was running and firing at them blindly. He shot at a little girl but Carlos jumped in front of her. He was hit in the abdomen.”

TK felt tears sting at his eyes as he ran his hands over his face and into his hair. “How bad?” he asked.  
“He lost a lot of blood,” Nancy replied. “But he was holding on TK. He was.”  
“He was awake for a while on the way here,” Tommy continued. “He told us to tell you that he loves you and that he’ll see you real soon.” 

She looked at the team then, “And he told us to tell you all not to let this one freak out,” she added. 

The tears started to fall as a sob escaped from TK’s lips. Even while laying there on a gurney, bleeding in an ambulance Carlos was focussed on trying to make him feel better. It was just so Carlos.

TK felt several pats on the back and another shoulder squeeze as he tried to get his emotions under control. The unwavering support of his team meant the world to him. He knew how close they had all become to Carlos in the months that they’d been dating, and he knew they were scared too. And yet they were still supporting him. 

“Let’s sit down TK,” Owen said, pushing him down into a chair. “I called the chief and had us all stood down for the rest of shift so we could be here for you and for Carlos.” 

TK wiped the tears from his cheeks. “You didn’t have to do that dad,” he replied.  
“Of course he did,” Paul said.  
“You’re not the only one who cares about him, you know,” Marjan added.  
“We’re family, man. We stay,” Judd said while Mateo nodded in agreement. 

“You guys are the best,” TK said.  
“Don’t we know it,” Judd replied, sitting down and putting a hand on TK’s knee, squeezing firmly. 

“Did anyone call his parents yet?” TK asked.  
“That would be me,” a familiar voice rang out as someone joined their group.  
“Michelle!” TK cried, jumping up from his seat and reaching out to her. 

Michelle pulled him close and hugged him tight. 

“Hey Strand,” she said. “Hi guys, it’s good to see you, although obviously I wish it wasn’t here. How’s my boy?”  
“No news yet,” Tommy replied, pulling Michelle into a hug of her own. 

Michelle sighed. “I called his parents,” she said. “They’re in Houston visiting friends, but they’re on the way back now. Hopefully they’ll be here in a few hours.” 

TK nodded. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay with him once his parents get here,” he said sadly. “I promised him that I would wait until he was ready to tell his parents that I’m his boyfriend. They still think we’re just friends.” 

Judd was shaking his head angrily. “That ain’t right man,” he said. “You love him and he loves you. Anybody with eyes can see that. You shouldn’t have to hide it just because of his parents.”  
“He’s right,” Marjan agreed. “That’s not fair to either of you. You deserve to be there for him TK.”  
“Believe me, I agree with both of you,” Paul chimed in. “But these are Carlos’ parents, and it needs to be his decision. I know firsthand what it feels like to have someone you love turn on you for just being you. As unfair as it is, TK can’t make that choice for him.”

TK sniffled and wrapped his arms around himself tightly, clearly struggling to keep it together. “Paul is right. Carlos loves his parents. He’s close to his family. I’m not going to risk ruining his relationship with them. It has to be up to him to tell them.” 

Michelle took both of TK’s hands in her own. “Please look at me TK,” she said. 

It took him a few seconds, but eventually he turned his eyes to Michelle’s and saw the same fear he was feeling reflected back at him.

“Please, please don’t doubt his love for you,” Michelle said, her own eyes shining with tears. “He loves you so much. He tells me constantly that he doesn’t know what he did to ever deserve you and he doesn’t know what he’d been doing with his life until you came into it. You make him happier than I’ve ever seen him TK.” 

TK smiled. “He does the same for me.”  
“This fear he has of losing his parents...,” Michelle went on, “It’s something he’s been feeling for the last ten years since he came out to them when he was 17. That fear has nothing to do with you. He loves you more than anything, and he would love nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops. Never doubt it.” 

TK pulled her forward and hugged her fiercely. “Thank you so much Michelle,” he said. 

She wiped at the tears now pouring down her cheeks. “Anytime kid,” she replied. 

TK turned back to his team and let out the first genuine laugh since he had found out about Carlos when he saw the tears in all of their eyes from his conversation with Michelle. 

“I’m not crying, you’re crying,” Mateo said.  
“You are so crying, probie,” Marjan accused.  
“Alright we’re all crying no need to dwell on it!” Judd said. 

Owen wrapped his arms around his son. “I really wish I knew earlier that Carlos was here waiting for you TK. I would have dragged us to Texas years ago,” he said.  
“It’s alright dad,” TK replied with a smile. “We’re both young and we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. Because I know that he’s going to get through this and he’s going to come back to me.” 

“You’re damn right he is,” a new voice rang out. 

Everyone turned as Carlos’ partner, Rebecca, walked over to them. 

“I’m so sorry TK,” she said immediately. “We weren’t able to put our vests on because the suspect ran in front of our car and we went straight after him. By the time backup had arrived and we caught him, Carlos was down and I…”  
“It’s not your fault Rebecca,” TK cut her off, pulling her into a hug as he took in the fear and guilt in her eyes. “I know you would do anything to protect him. There’s no one I trust more to have his back out there. You know that. Just tell me that this son of a bitch is going down.”  
“Oh he’s going down,” she replied angrily. “The only reason I wasn’t here earlier is because I made sure to escort him myself. He will never see outside of a cell again.”

TK nodded. “Thank you.”  
“Like you said,” Rebecca replied, “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Carlos. Has there been any word on his condition?”  
“Not yet,” Tommy said. “It’s only been about an hour since they took him to surgery.”  
“For right now, no news is good news,” Michelle added. “All we can do is wait and be there for him when he needs us.”

If there was one thing in the world TK knew how to do, it was how to be there for his boyfriend. It had taken him a while to learn sure, but he learned. He would be there for Carlos every step of the way. Even if he had to somehow work around his parents. 

TK sat back down in the chair. His father sat on one side of him and Judd sat on the other. He leaned against his dad’s shoulder, taking in all the support he could. 

________________________________

Hours later, TK was sitting by Carlos’ hospital bed clutching his hand tightly between his own. 

He had been sitting there for a while already, but his boyfriend showed no signs of waking. 

He couldn’t believe that Carlos had slept through the entire team’s visit. The 126 were not a quiet bunch in the slightest. Add to that Grace, Michelle, and Rebecca it was even louder. And still, Carlos hadn’t even stirred. 

TK was anxious that Carlos had yet to wake up, but after three hours in surgery the doctor had assured him that he would be just fine. The bullet didn't hit anything vital (although if you asked him, every part of his boyfriend was vital thank you very much), and after a blood transfusion Carlos was all fixed up. Now if only he would wake up. 

Most of the team had gone home, promising to visit again when Carlos was up for it. His father was waiting for him, not wanting TK to have to find a way home on his own. 

“Just waiting on you love,” TK said, squeezing Carlos’ hand. “I’d really like to see those eyes, baby.” 

TK suddenly heard raised voices from outside of Carlos’ room and he immediately dropped his boyfriend’s hand and jumped out of his seat. Just in time, as Carlos’ parents burst into the room and made a beeline for their son. 

“Carlitos,” his mom said, running her hands through his hair and kissing him on the cheek. His father took his hand.

TK stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, not sure if he should make a run for it. He was just about to head for the door when Carlos’ mother looked up at him and smiled. Her smile was so similar to Carlos’ it hurt. 

“TJ, right?” she asked. “We met you at the market a few weeks ago. You’re a friend of Carlos’?”  
“TK,” he corrected her. “Yes, I’m his friend from work. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to intrude, I just heard what happened and wanted to see if he was okay.”  
“Don’t be sorry!” Carlos’ father answered. “That’s nice of you. You’re a good friend.” 

TK smiled at them, hoping it didn’t look as pained as he was feeling. Even knowing that he was doing this for Carlos, calling the man he loved with all his heart a friend felt wrong. He hated it. 

“Has he woken up at all?” Andrea asked. “We got here as fast as we could after we heard what happened.”  
“Not yet,” TK replied. “He came out of surgery a little over an hour ago and the doctor let me see him. His friends from the precinct have already visited him. I’m sure more will be showing up soon, he’s a popular guy.”  
“He always was,” Gabriel said with a smile. “Thank you for sitting with him, TK.”  
“No problem at all,” he replied. “I’ll leave you alone with him.”  
“Nice to see you again TK!” Andrea called after him. 

TK smiled and turned to leave, his heart breaking a little more each step he took away from Carlos.

By the time he reached his father in the waiting room, tears were pooling in his eyes, begging to be let out.

“Oh son,” Owen said, pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him. “I’m so sorry.” 

TK collapsed into his father’s arms and let the tears fall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, I love hearing what you guys think! 
> 
> Here's the next chapter, enjoy!

TK let out a huge yawn as he packed up his clothes at the end of another long shift. 

He could feel his team looking at him in concern but he ignored them, tired of having the same conversation over and over again these last few days. 

“TK...” Owen began.  
“Please don’t bother dad,” TK cut him off. “Yes, I know how late it is. Yes, I have barely gotten any sleep in the last three days and yes, I’m exhausted. But either Carlos’ parents are with him all day or we’re on shift and so the only time I get to visit him is at night. I need to see him dad. Even if he’s just going to be asleep, I need to see him.”  
“I know you do son, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself,” Owen replied. “You’re running yourself into the ground.”  
“Carlos is getting released from the hospital tomorrow,” TK told him. “Hopefully when he’s back home it will be easier to see him.”  
“And if his parents take him to their house or decide to stay with him at his place?” Owen asked.  
“I’ll cross that bridge if I come to it dad,” TK replied. “I can just keep pretending to be his friend whenever his parents are around. As much as I hate it, if that’s what I need to do to see him then I’ll do it.”  
“As someone who has seen the two of you together way too often, I can tell you right now they’re not going to buy that after the first two minutes of your googly eyes,” Judd scoffed. 

TK rolled his eyes. 

“Well we definitely have the right gear here for me to go in through a window if I need to,” he replied.  
Owen sighed in defeat. “At least try to get some sleep after going to see him, okay son?”  
“I will dad,” TK promised. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.” 

The truth is, TK was miserable. He was tired and moody. He was lucky that Rebecca had been able to get him permission to visit with Carlos long after normal visiting hours had ended, but because of the late hours Carlos was almost always sleeping and TK didn’t have the heart to wake him. He needed his rest to heal. 

TK had barely even had ten minutes with his boyfriend being awake in the last three days and it was driving him crazy. He hadn’t realized until now how dependent he had become on Carlos. His smile, his voice, his touch, his everything. TK needed it like he needed air, and he was suffocating. 

_____________________________

Back in the uncomfortable chair once again, TK was busy running his fingers through his sleeping boyfriend’s curls. The only good news was that Carlos was starting to look a lot better. He had some color back in his cheeks and Michelle had informed him that Carlos took a walk with her and Rebecca around the hospital today. 

As happy as he was to hear that Carlos was getting back on his feet, he wasn’t even going to pretend that he wasn’t jealous at the amount of time they were able to spend with him without having to worry about his parents becoming suspicious. 

TK could not wait for Carlos to finally be back home (when had he started thinking of Carlos’ place as home?). But as his father had pointed out, if Carlos’ parents decided to take him to their house or to stay over at the apartment while he healed, what the hell would he do then? How long could this charade last? 

He shook his head to try and clear the rapid thoughts going through his mind before standing up and giving Carlos a kiss on the cheek. 

“I love you so much baby,” he whispered, hoping Carlos could hear him in his dreams. “This isn’t easy, but I’m still fully on board, just like I promised. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” 

TK sat back down and put his head in hands, wishing for nothing more than to talk to his boyfriend about all of the things he was feeling right now. No one had the ability to calm him down and make him feel better quite like Carlos did. Even unconscious, just being in Carlos’ presence and looking at that (gorgeous) face he loved so much had a calming effect on his frayed nerves. 

He definitely hadn’t meant to close his eyes and fall asleep with Carlos’ hand tucked tightly in his own. 

He was just so tired. 

_________________________

TK was roughly pulled from his sleep when someone cleared their throat loudly. 

He immediately jumped up, mortified and turned around to see Carlos’ parents staring at him.

His mother’s eyes drifted down to TK’s hand, still clutching Carlos’. He dropped it quickly, immediately missing the contact. 

“You’re not just his friend, are you?” Andrea asked quietly after a few awkward moments. 

TK took a deep breath and hoped to god that Carlos would be able to forgive him for the mistake he made. “No, I’m not,” he replied. 

“You’re his boyfriend,” Gabriel said matter-of-factly. 

TK wished that he could read his tone, but he couldn’t. He knew now where Carlos had gotten his impeccable poker face from. 

“Yes,” he replied. “But you already suspected as much, didn’t you?”

Gabriel sighed. “We saw you with him when we first got here three days ago. The look in your eyes when you had to leave him, friends don’t look at each other like that.” 

So Judd wasn’t exaggerating about the googly eyes then. 

“I’m sorry I lied earlier. Carlos wanted to be the one to tell you about us. But since you already know that he’s gay, I hope it won’t be a problem.” TK told them.

“Yes, we know,” Andrea said. “And we love him anyway of course, like we told him back then. We will always love our son. But we just…” she trailed off.  
“We just don’t talk about it,” Gabriel finished for her.  
“Why not?” TK asked, not being able to stay quiet but hoping that he wasn’t about to make the situation worse.  
“Because it’s just not something we do,” Gabriel replied. “It doesn’t mean we love him any less, but we don’t need to hear about that.”  
“He keeps that part of him to himself,” Andrea added. 

And TK snapped. 

Rationally, he knew that he should just stop and walk away before it was too late, but he also had this strong, burning desire to protect and defend his boyfriend’s feelings, even if Carlos wouldn’t do it for himself. Especially since he wouldn’t do it for himself. 

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t been able to really talk to Carlos in days and he missed him so damn much it hurt. Or maybe it was the heartbroken look he had seen in his boyfriend’s eyes that night weeks ago, when he had first explained why he introduced him as just a friend from work. 

Whatever it was, he was powerless to stop the words that came pouring out. 

“Look,” TK began. “I know you don’t know me well, or at all really, and the absolute last thing I want to do is leave you with a bad impression here. But I’ve had to watch silently as this tears Carlos apart for weeks now- not to mention the years since he came out to you- and I can’t take it anymore. Your son is not just my friend. He’s not just my work colleague. He’s the love of my life. My soulmate, my everything. And I will be grateful every single day for the rest of my life that god didn’t take him from us three days ago. But tell me this. If he had died, would you be relieved right now knowing that he left behind this false image of being straight, or would you forever regret the fact that your son hid away such a huge part of himself for years because he didn’t want to upset or lose you, and died without ever showing you who he truly is?” 

With that said, TK turned to go, leaving Carlos’ parents wide-eyed behind him.

He silently begged whoever was up there listening that his boyfriend could forgive him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I for one, am proud of TK! Really can't wait to see how this storyline will continue on the show. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, more to come soon! Already hard at work on the next chapter. 
> 
> Let me know what you think ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am once again. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! I'm so happy you guys are enjoying the story!! 
> 
> I don't know about anyone else, but I am in serious withdrawal at the lack of Carlos content in the last couple of episodes! 
> 
> Here's the last (for now) chapter :)

“He’s going to break up with me.” 

“Listen to me. He is NOT going to break up with you TK,” Owen said exasperatedly. “I’ve already said it about a hundred times today. That boy loves you. And what you said… Harsh as it may have been, it’s also true. Carlos’ parents need to not only love him, but accept him and make sure he’s comfortable being who he is. That’s a parent’s job, TK. That’s their most important job.”

“He wanted to be the one to tell them,” TK said. “I took that from him.” 

Owen sighed. “You didn’t mean to TK,” he said, leaning forward and squeezing his shoulder. “They asked, things escalated and you snapped. You’ve had so much going on these last few days son. You’ve barely slept or eaten. You haven’t even been able to talk to Carlos. I know how much that’s hurting you. And what you said, you did it for him. You stood up for him because you care about him and you can’t stand to see him hurting. You did it because you love him. I really think he’ll understand that.”  
“I hope so dad, I really do. Because I can’t lose him. I just can’t,” TK said desperately.  
“And you won’t,” his father replied, pulling him into a hug. 

TK looked down as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out and glanced at the screen. His breath caught in his throat. 

“It’s from Carlos,” he said.  
“Well open it!” Owen replied. 

TK took a deep breath and opened the message. “If you can, please come to the hospital,” he read aloud.  
“Okay…” Owen said slowly. “Not much information there.”  
“He’s going to break up with me,” TK said again.  
“Shut up and get in the car Tyler Kennedy, I’m driving,” his father replied, pushing him towards the door.  
“You don’t have to come with me dad,” he said.  
“Yes I do, I might have to fight my future in-laws, Carlos’ parents,” Owen said with a sly smile. 

TK laughed. “God, I hope not. It would make things awfully awkward at Christmas every year.” 

Owen laughed and put his hands on TK’s shoulders. He leaned forward to give his son a kiss on the top of his head and ruffled his hair. 

“I’m here for you TK, no matter what,” he said seriously. “I love you.” 

“I know that dad, and I love you too.” 

___________________________

Owen gave TK a pat on the back and a quick hug. 

“I’ll be waiting right here for you son, no matter what,” he said, before pushing TK in the direction of Carlos’ room. “Go talk to your boy.” 

TK stood outside the closed door for a few moments. 

He was terrified, having no idea what was waiting for him on the other side. 

He wasn’t sorry about what he had said, he would always stand up for Carlos without hesitation. But if it caused the end of his relationship with the person he loved more than anything, he would regret that for the rest of his life. 

He took a deep breath and walked into the room. 

Carlos’ warm brown eyes met his own almost immediately and they took TK’s breath away, as always. 

He looked around the rest of the room and was surprised to find that Carlos was alone. 

“Okay look, I know I was a little bitch again,” TK said after a few seconds of silence. “But I’m still not sorry.” 

To TK’s immense shock, Carlos burst out laughing. 

“Oh baby,” he replied. “We have got to work on your argument skills.”  
“Wait a second,” TK said, thoroughly confused. “You’re not breaking up with me?” 

The laughter was gone from Carlos’ face in an instant, replaced by a look of concern. 

“Breaking up with you?! God no! Come here babe,” he replied, beckoning TK over. “You’re too far away from me all the way over there.” 

TK made his way over to Carlos. 

He tried to hold back, but the second he reached the bed he pulled his boyfriend into his arms and buried his face in his curls, inhaling deeply. He was careful not to press down on his body too hard, not wanting to put pressure on Carlos’ healing injury. 

“Did you really think I was going to break up with you?” Carlos whispered in his ear as they held each other. “I know you did it for me, because you care about me. I love you.”  
“I love you too,” TK whispered back. “So much, Carlos. These last few days have been so hard.”  
“I’m sorry,” Carlos replied, pulling back a bit to look into his eyes. “You were the first person I wanted to see you know. As soon as I woke up, I was looking for you. When I saw my parents I realized why you weren’t there. And I’m so sorry, I know that must have been hard for you.”  
“It was, but it’s not your fault,” TK reassured him. “I’m just so happy that you’re okay. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you woke up. There’s nowhere else I would have rather been.”  
“No,” Carlos replied, shaking his head. “Don’t apologize TK, that’s not on you. If you could’ve been there, you would’ve. I know that.” 

TK leaned forward for a kiss and Carlos met him halfway. 

Being here, back in the comfort of his boyfriend’s arms made everything feel alright again. Well, almost everything.

They let go of each other after a minute, but TK kept Carlos’ hand held firmly in his own as he looked nervously at his boyfriend. 

“Where are your parents, Carlos?” he asked. “I didn’t make it worse did I? Please tell me I didn’t ruin your relationship with them. I swear I didn’t mean to be so harsh, I was just angry and worn down. And you were hurt and it was so hard not to be able to see you and talk to you whenever I wanted to and with all the sneaking-” 

“Woah woah woah, slow down there tiger,” Carlos replied, squeezing his hand. “You didn’t ruin anything, I promise. You made it better.”  
“I did?” he asked in surprise. 

“Yes! When I woke up my parents were beside themselves,” Carlos said. “They said that they had no idea how much they were hurting me and they never wanted me to think that I had to hide from them. They thought since I never mentioned it again, I must not have wanted to talk about it either. We were all crying, it was a lot. But I’m so grateful that it happened. That you made it happen. It’s going to take some time and it probably won’t be easy at first, but they want to make it right, no matter what it takes. They’re both so impressed with you by the way, no surprise there. They’re so happy I found someone who will stand behind me no matter what. I told them I can’t believe I found a personal shopper this loyal.”

TK laughed and slapped Carlos lightly on the arm. Carlos grabbed his hand and kissed it. 

“They want to meet you again, TK,” he continued. “For real this time. They want to apologize and get to know you not as my friend, but as the man I love.”  
“I can’t even tell you how relieved I am to hear all of this Carlos,” TK replied. “I was so scared that I ruined things by blowing up at them the way I did.” 

“Listen to me Tyler,” Carlos said seriously, pulling him down to sit beside him on the bed and grasping both hands in his own. “They needed to hear it. And I’m so happy that it came from you. I know it’s only been months, but I’m sure of one thing. You’re it for me. I’m just so sorry it took this long.”  
“You’re worth the wait,” TK replied, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead.  
“Glad to hear it,” he replied with a smirk. “Because now comes the fun part. My parents want to have dinner with us and your parents.”

TK groaned. 

“Well that’s going to be a disaster, isn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where I wanted to end it for now, but I am thinking adding to this story in a little while when I have more time. I would love to write the first dinner with all the parents, and just some TK being cute with Carlos and his family. I'm also thinking of going backwards a bit and writing a fill-in chapter where Carlos talks to his parents. Just some ideas I have floating around in my head.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the ending!! Thanks for reading and coming along for the ride! I love these two so much and need just so much more from the actual show. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Until next time ;)

**Author's Note:**

> A little bit of a bleak ending there, sorry about that. But there's more to come soon! I'm working on the next chapter as you read. 
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think! :)


End file.
